Let me start by giving some background. My companions for the weekend were Kendo, my partner in crime, intelligent and clueless in equal measures and drunken festival fun seems to be a more fitting environment than the corporate world that he surrounds himself in for the majority of the year. Russ, the enigma, replying to, at best, one in every fifty emails, mostly in one word answers, and yet miraculously turns up at an impressive number of events. Russ is unreliable in many senses, he is rarely on time, has lost more phones than Vodafone have sold in the 21st century and as a very overworked out of office message. Russ is however, fun personified.
The other members of the group were largely unknown to me, a collective of Russ’ friends, all of whom slotted in effortlessly into our relaxed, easy going environment that we like to surround ourselves with, or, being as there were more of them than us maybe we slotted into their relaxed, easy going environment.

The first error we made was allowing Russell to spearhead the organisation of this, I had assumed that it would be a step up from Kendo, but alas, it would be the event that my eventual demise can be traced back to. He will blame postal strikes that stopped delivery of our tickets to his home address, but I accept none of that. The Royal Mail do a fine job and I for one will not stand by and let them be bad mouthed by a man who once ((((insert Russ related anecdote here))).

Two cars were to travel to the Isle of White that Friday afternoon, one, reluctantly was to be driven by myself. My poor Fiesta was to bear the collective festival paraphernalia of four fully grown adults, together with four fully grown, and in some cases, overgrown, adults. Now if the Fiesta were an elevator the sign would state maximum load 3 adults, one of which should have short legs. Granted, if we had a high speed impact (an achievement in itself in the Fiesta) then we were all pretty safe on account of none of our bodies being physically capable of moving an inch into anything likely to cause harm. Speaking of high speed impacts, we presumed that something similar had occurred on the motorway on the way down to Lymington given that we were sat still for so long that eventually we got the camping chairs out and sat on the hard shoulder in the sunshine. So much for being on time for our ferry….

Having managed to successfully negotiate our passage across the pirate-free (((insert name of stretch of water))) and across to Newport we arrived at the Bestival site. Driving through the car park, for those that know it, is soul destroying as you pass line after line of cars knowing full well that you are going to have to walk back past each and every one of them to get back to the entrance, this sense of foreboding was perhaps weaker in me than it should have been.

Eventually we parked up somewhere, well let’s just call it near the back. Time to check in with car number 2 which was departing London around 2-3 hours after us, but who had hopefully heeded our warnings about traffic. “We left a bit late” was the not totally unexpected reply from Russ, “looks like we might miss our ferry.” We weren’t in a position to judge, however we were in a position of being stuck in the car park with no proof of purchase for the tickets as this was of course with Russ…”anyone for a beer?”

Now I am all for drinking responsibly, I am responsible for the vast majority of the drinking that I do, however I had recently been given the elbow and perhaps this led to me maybe feeling like I was in club Tropicana where drinks are free, and not a car park / field. So it is fair to say that I participated in a few beers, but unfortunately I also participated in more than my fair share of a sizeable bottle of vodka. By the time Russ arrived a couple of things had happened, we had missed several bands including Florence and the Machine, we had completed Kendo’s Mr Roboto costume, I had gotten a bit squiffy. Needless to say I was happy to see Russ, so happy that I think I did a little run and skip type thing that I am not proud of, nor likely to attempt again, however, importantly we were now able to get past the gatekeepers and inside the boundaries of celebration, of hedonistic jubilation, amongst the throngs of party people to where we belonged! My God I was fucking nailed.

First job of course was to set up camp, this took approximately 47 seconds and then we were off into the festival which was, believe it or not, right next to our tent, fantastic! Now I have written that in italics as that is my memory talking, the reality is that it took us closer to 47 minutes to set up the tents, this included a good ten minutes of Kendo watching me hammering my hand instead of the one tent peg I had been trusted with, and resulted in a pretty poor excuse for a home for the weekend. The tent was also not next to the entrance to the festival…..

So off to the festival we went, expectations were as high as my spirits and my blood alcohol level, obviously first stop was the bar to get a kick-start to the dancing bug, and we watched a bit of (((Info required – did we watch any bands?)))). Eventually my piss to pint ratio had quickened and I had to leave the group to go relieve myself, upon my return, unbelievably, they had all disappeared! My feelings at the time should have been mild panic, that kind of panic you don’t let on about, you just walk slightly quicker and look around as if you had slight psychiatric issues, instead I was calm as a hindu cow, not a care in the world, what was there to worry about? I had a drink in my hand, the wind behind my back and a collection of dance moves that I was about to unleash upon the waiting masses. Too many DJ’s were on the horizon and I was absolutely ready for it, and then the night took a turn for the sexy…. well, sort of.

She was what you would normally refer to as “built for comfort not for speed.” And that is not a negative thing, believe me, she was putting more effort into her dancing then any of the Mr Motivator loving gym enthusiasts that were dancing dad like, shuffling from side to side all around us. She was having the time of her life! With my liquid courage firmly intact and my companion for the evening giving me a look you can only really achieve if you have got a lazy eye, I moved closer, like a slow motion scene from a romantic movie of two lost souls coming together after years apart, then she snogged my face off. I would like to say it was a romantic affair with intelligent conversation, witty banter flowing to and fro, but too many Dj’s had started and my animal instincts were tempered by the need to dance, although the two entwined beautifully for the next couple of hours.

I make no apologies for the potential loss of time during the evening here, I estimate, and I mean estimate that we got into the festival at around 11, and I think too many DJ’s were on around 2, but, as I think we are all aware, I didn’t really have too much comprehension of where my legs were for most of the evening.

4 o’clock was soon upon us, music time was over, everyone out, time to go back to tent land. By this time I had stupidly started talking to my soul mate’s friend, which was one of many mini-suicides I had already committed during the evening (I failed to mentioned that I spotted, and even waved to, Kendo and Russ in the crowd when I spotted them but choose my comfy friend as a better option). So now I was in a tricky position, I had precious little time to convince this new girl that I was a James Bond type character that she should definitely take back to her tent and ravage, despite the fact that she was sharing the tent with her two seater friend that I had been sharing a public display of affection with for the past couple of hours, or I was on my own with the increasing feeling that I was missing something mightily important..

10 out of 10 for perseverance, I walked her back to her tent, wished her all the best, silently cursed my luck, and made my way back to the tent, after all it was just by the entrance to the festival….

Balls.

As my hand slid into the left pocket of my shorts (bear with me, it hasn’t gone all channel 5), a realisation came over me (again, not channel 5). My grand plan for the weekend was to forget about the ex, enjoy the festival, dance to some music, flirt with some girls and have a few laughs, so it was a perfectly valid idea to leave my mobile in the glove box. Except if you lose your mates and need to phone them as your tent is not where your drunk mind remembers leaving it. So, my right hand, sensing the ensuing panic, realises it’s duty to delve into my right pocket and relieve the mounting tension by pulling out my car keys, and my legs prepared themselves for the long walk back past those cars….uh oh.

So, with no mobile and car keys safely tucked away in my tent, which I didn’t know the whereabouts of, I started to feel like the great night I had had so far was drawing to a rather more unsatisfying end. Only thing to do was to start walking.

By 6 o’clock I had done a few laps of the campsite, or at least the first three fields, there was no way my tent could be in the last couple as only the people who were late for the festival would be there surely? No sign of it so far, but then it was still dark so I wasn’t expecting much. I decided to sit down by the food vendors, there was still a few people milling around, a few of them invited me to sit with them. They enjoyed my story, a little too heartily for my liking, but then they were on their way down from a higher place, so I will forgive them for that. One of them offered me a space in his tent, but to be honest I don’t think his intentions were any more respectable than mine had been earlier in the evening, so I politely declined.

6.30am, light arrived. So I started the eternal trek back around the same three fields I had already walked around, for some reason my mind still wouldn’t allow me to entertain the possibility that I was actually camped in the farthest field. I did lap, after lap, after lap, some of the stewards became quite familiar with me, familiar, not helpful, in any way shape or form. “Have you found your tent yet?” “no, not yet” “oh dear, well good luck!” This was getting ridiculous.

Noon, enough was enough. There were 20,000 people at this festival, I had expected by now to have stumbled across one of the guys, maybe they were concerned that I hadn’t returned? But no luck, there was a very good chance that I would not see these guys again until the end of the festival. I started the long walk up to the car, I knew what had to be done. After a long walk, made longer by the previous 8 hours walking, I reached my precious Fiesta, he had done nothing to deserve what was about to happen to him, he had put up with the journey down here and was quietly resting in preparation for the journey back. He looked nervous as approached, almost sensing the hostility, but it had to be done. I took off my beanie, put a large piece of flint inside and struck the passenger side window. Now I don’t know if you have ever broken a car window, if you have you are either a criminal, in which case please hand yourself over to the nearest authorities, or you have been in a similar situation to myself. Either way you will appreciate how tough those windows are! It took a good couple of whacks to get the job done, and the job was done all over the car, it went everywhere, and yes, in the true spirit of all that had gone before, I cut my hand. Needless to say I didn’t care anymore, I opened the glove box and grabbed my phone and dialled the guys..

“Rich, how’s it going?”

“mate, i’ve had a mare”
“are you ok?”

“yeah yeah, I’m ok”

“Where are you?”

“I’m back at the car, I had to break in. Where are you?”
“We are just on the way to the car, be there in five minutes”

“Oh for fuck’s sake.”

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The standard chunk of Lorem Ipsum used since the 1500s is reproduced below for those interested. Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” by Cicero are also reproduced in their exact original form, accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham.

Contrary to popular belief, Lorem Ipsum is not simply random text. It has roots in a piece of classical Latin literature from 45 BC, making it over 2000 years old. Richard McClintock, a Latin professor at Hampden-Sydney College in Virginia, looked up one of the more obscure Latin words, consectetur, from a Lorem Ipsum passage, and going through the cites of the word in classical literature, discovered the undoubtable source. Lorem Ipsum comes from sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 of “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” (The Extremes of Good and Evil) by Cicero, written in 45 BC. This book is a treatise on the theory of ethics, very popular during the Renaissance. The first line of Lorem Ipsum, “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet..”, comes from a line in section 1.10.32.

The standard chunk of Lorem Ipsum used since the 1500s is reproduced below for those interested. Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” by Cicero are also reproduced in their exact original form, accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham.

Contrary to popular belief, Lorem Ipsum is not simply random text. It has roots in a piece of classical Latin literature from 45 BC, making it over 2000 years old. Richard McClintock, a Latin professor at Hampden-Sydney College in Virginia, looked up one of the more obscure Latin words, consectetur, from a Lorem Ipsum passage, and going through the cites of the word in classical literature, discovered the undoubtable source. Lorem Ipsum comes from sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 of “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” (The Extremes of Good and Evil) by Cicero, written in 45 BC. This book is a treatise on the theory of ethics, very popular during the Renaissance. The first line of Lorem Ipsum, “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet..”, comes from a line in section 1.10.32.

The standard chunk of Lorem Ipsum used since the 1500s is reproduced below for those interested. Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” by Cicero are also reproduced in their exact original form, accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham.

Contrary to popular belief, Lorem Ipsum is not simply random text. It has roots in a piece of classical Latin literature from 45 BC, making it over 2000 years old. Richard McClintock, a Latin professor at Hampden-Sydney College in Virginia, looked up one of the more obscure Latin words, consectetur, from a Lorem Ipsum passage, and going through the cites of the word in classical literature, discovered the undoubtable source. Lorem Ipsum comes from sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 of “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” (The Extremes of Good and Evil) by Cicero, written in 45 BC. This book is a treatise on the theory of ethics, very popular during the Renaissance. The first line of Lorem Ipsum, “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet..”, comes from a line in section 1.10.32.

The standard chunk of Lorem Ipsum used since the 1500s is reproduced below for those interested. Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” by Cicero are also reproduced in their exact original form, accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham.

Contrary to popular belief, Lorem Ipsum is not simply random text. It has roots in a piece of classical Latin literature from 45 BC, making it over 2000 years old. Richard McClintock, a Latin professor at Hampden-Sydney College in Virginia, looked up one of the more obscure Latin words, consectetur, from a Lorem Ipsum passage, and going through the cites of the word in classical literature, discovered the undoubtable source. Lorem Ipsum comes from sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 of “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” (The Extremes of Good and Evil) by Cicero, written in 45 BC. This book is a treatise on the theory of ethics, very popular during the Renaissance. The first line of Lorem Ipsum, “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet..”, comes from a line in section 1.10.32.

The standard chunk of Lorem Ipsum used since the 1500s is reproduced below for those interested. Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” by Cicero are also reproduced in their exact original form, accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham.

Contrary to popular belief, Lorem Ipsum is not simply random text. It has roots in a piece of classical Latin literature from 45 BC, making it over 2000 years old. Richard McClintock, a Latin professor at Hampden-Sydney College in Virginia, looked up one of the more obscure Latin words, consectetur, from a Lorem Ipsum passage, and going through the cites of the word in classical literature, discovered the undoubtable source. Lorem Ipsum comes from sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 of “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” (The Extremes of Good and Evil) by Cicero, written in 45 BC. This book is a treatise on the theory of ethics, very popular during the Renaissance. The first line of Lorem Ipsum, “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet..”, comes from a line in section 1.10.32.

The standard chunk of Lorem Ipsum used since the 1500s is reproduced below for those interested. Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” by Cicero are also reproduced in their exact original form, accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham.

Contrary to popular belief, Lorem Ipsum is not simply random text. It has roots in a piece of classical Latin literature from 45 BC, making it over 2000 years old. Richard McClintock, a Latin professor at Hampden-Sydney College in Virginia, looked up one of the more obscure Latin words, consectetur, from a Lorem Ipsum passage, and going through the cites of the word in classical literature, discovered the undoubtable source. Lorem Ipsum comes from sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 of “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” (The Extremes of Good and Evil) by Cicero, written in 45 BC. This book is a treatise on the theory of ethics, very popular during the Renaissance. The first line of Lorem Ipsum, “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet..”, comes from a line in section 1.10.32.

The standard chunk of Lorem Ipsum used since the 1500s is reproduced below for those interested. Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” by Cicero are also reproduced in their exact original form, accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham.

Contrary to popular belief, Lorem Ipsum is not simply random text. It has roots in a piece of classical Latin literature from 45 BC, making it over 2000 years old. Richard McClintock, a Latin professor at Hampden-Sydney College in Virginia, looked up one of the more obscure Latin words, consectetur, from a Lorem Ipsum passage, and going through the cites of the word in classical literature, discovered the undoubtable source. Lorem Ipsum comes from sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 of “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” (The Extremes of Good and Evil) by Cicero, written in 45 BC. This book is a treatise on the theory of ethics, very popular during the Renaissance. The first line of Lorem Ipsum, “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet..”, comes from a line in section 1.10.32.

The standard chunk of Lorem Ipsum used since the 1500s is reproduced below for those interested. Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” by Cicero are also reproduced in their exact original form, accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham.

Contrary to popular belief, Lorem Ipsum is not simply random text. It has roots in a piece of classical Latin literature from 45 BC, making it over 2000 years old. Richard McClintock, a Latin professor at Hampden-Sydney College in Virginia, looked up one of the more obscure Latin words, consectetur, from a Lorem Ipsum passage, and going through the cites of the word in classical literature, discovered the undoubtable source. Lorem Ipsum comes from sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 of “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” (The Extremes of Good and Evil) by Cicero, written in 45 BC. This book is a treatise on the theory of ethics, very popular during the Renaissance. The first line of Lorem Ipsum, “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet..”, comes from a line in section 1.10.32.

The standard chunk of Lorem Ipsum used since the 1500s is reproduced below for those interested. Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” by Cicero are also reproduced in their exact original form, accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham.

Contrary to popular belief, Lorem Ipsum is not simply random text. It has roots in a piece of classical Latin literature from 45 BC, making it over 2000 years old. Richard McClintock, a Latin professor at Hampden-Sydney College in Virginia, looked up one of the more obscure Latin words, consectetur, from a Lorem Ipsum passage, and going through the cites of the word in classical literature, discovered the undoubtable source. Lorem Ipsum comes from sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 of “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” (The Extremes of Good and Evil) by Cicero, written in 45 BC. This book is a treatise on the theory of ethics, very popular during the Renaissance. The first line of Lorem Ipsum, “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet..”, comes from a line in section 1.10.32.

The standard chunk of Lorem Ipsum used since the 1500s is reproduced below for those interested. Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” by Cicero are also reproduced in their exact original form, accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham.

Contrary to popular belief, Lorem Ipsum is not simply random text. It has roots in a piece of classical Latin literature from 45 BC, making it over 2000 years old. Richard McClintock, a Latin professor at Hampden-Sydney College in Virginia, looked up one of the more obscure Latin words, consectetur, from a Lorem Ipsum passage, and going through the cites of the word in classical literature, discovered the undoubtable source. Lorem Ipsum comes from sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 of “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” (The Extremes of Good and Evil) by Cicero, written in 45 BC. This book is a treatise on the theory of ethics, very popular during the Renaissance. The first line of Lorem Ipsum, “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet..”, comes from a line in section 1.10.32.

The standard chunk of Lorem Ipsum used since the 1500s is reproduced below for those interested. Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” by Cicero are also reproduced in their exact original form, accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham.

Contrary to popular belief, Lorem Ipsum is not simply random text. It has roots in a piece of classical Latin literature from 45 BC, making it over 2000 years old. Richard McClintock, a Latin professor at Hampden-Sydney College in Virginia, looked up one of the more obscure Latin words, consectetur, from a Lorem Ipsum passage, and going through the cites of the word in classical literature, discovered the undoubtable source. Lorem Ipsum comes from sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 of “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” (The Extremes of Good and Evil) by Cicero, written in 45 BC. This book is a treatise on the theory of ethics, very popular during the Renaissance. The first line of Lorem Ipsum, “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet..”, comes from a line in section 1.10.32.

The standard chunk of Lorem Ipsum used since the 1500s is reproduced below for those interested. Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” by Cicero are also reproduced in their exact original form, accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham.

Contrary to popular belief, Lorem Ipsum is not simply random text. It has roots in a piece of classical Latin literature from 45 BC, making it over 2000 years old. Richard McClintock, a Latin professor at Hampden-Sydney College in Virginia, looked up one of the more obscure Latin words, consectetur, from a Lorem Ipsum passage, and going through the cites of the word in classical literature, discovered the undoubtable source. Lorem Ipsum comes from sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 of “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” (The Extremes of Good and Evil) by Cicero, written in 45 BC. This book is a treatise on the theory of ethics, very popular during the Renaissance. The first line of Lorem Ipsum, “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet..”, comes from a line in section 1.10.32.

The standard chunk of Lorem Ipsum used since the 1500s is reproduced below for those interested. Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” by Cicero are also reproduced in their exact original form, accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham.

Contrary to popular belief, Lorem Ipsum is not simply random text. It has roots in a piece of classical Latin literature from 45 BC, making it over 2000 years old. Richard McClintock, a Latin professor at Hampden-Sydney College in Virginia, looked up one of the more obscure Latin words, consectetur, from a Lorem Ipsum passage, and going through the cites of the word in classical literature, discovered the undoubtable source. Lorem Ipsum comes from sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 of “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” (The Extremes of Good and Evil) by Cicero, written in 45 BC. This book is a treatise on the theory of ethics, very popular during the Renaissance. The first line of Lorem Ipsum, “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet..”, comes from a line in section 1.10.32.

The standard chunk of Lorem Ipsum used since the 1500s is reproduced below for those interested. Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” by Cicero are also reproduced in their exact original form, accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham.

Contrary to popular belief, Lorem Ipsum is not simply random text. It has roots in a piece of classical Latin literature from 45 BC, making it over 2000 years old. Richard McClintock, a Latin professor at Hampden-Sydney College in Virginia, looked up one of the more obscure Latin words, consectetur, from a Lorem Ipsum passage, and going through the cites of the word in classical literature, discovered the undoubtable source. Lorem Ipsum comes from sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 of “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” (The Extremes of Good and Evil) by Cicero, written in 45 BC. This book is a treatise on the theory of ethics, very popular during the Renaissance. The first line of Lorem Ipsum, “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet..”, comes from a line in section 1.10.32.

The standard chunk of Lorem Ipsum used since the 1500s is reproduced below for those interested. Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” by Cicero are also reproduced in their exact original form, accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham.

Contrary to popular belief, Lorem Ipsum is not simply random text. It has roots in a piece of classical Latin literature from 45 BC, making it over 2000 years old. Richard McClintock, a Latin professor at Hampden-Sydney College in Virginia, looked up one of the more obscure Latin words, consectetur, from a Lorem Ipsum passage, and going through the cites of the word in classical literature, discovered the undoubtable source. Lorem Ipsum comes from sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 of “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” (The Extremes of Good and Evil) by Cicero, written in 45 BC. This book is a treatise on the theory of ethics, very popular during the Renaissance. The first line of Lorem Ipsum, “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet..”, comes from a line in section 1.10.32.

The standard chunk of Lorem Ipsum used since the 1500s is reproduced below for those interested. Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” by Cicero are also reproduced in their exact original form, accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham.

Contrary to popular belief, Lorem Ipsum is not simply random text. It has roots in a piece of classical Latin literature from 45 BC, making it over 2000 years old. Richard McClintock, a Latin professor at Hampden-Sydney College in Virginia, looked up one of the more obscure Latin words, consectetur, from a Lorem Ipsum passage, and going through the cites of the word in classical literature, discovered the undoubtable source. Lorem Ipsum comes from sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 of “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” (The Extremes of Good and Evil) by Cicero, written in 45 BC. This book is a treatise on the theory of ethics, very popular during the Renaissance. The first line of Lorem Ipsum, “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet..”, comes from a line in section 1.10.32.

The standard chunk of Lorem Ipsum used since the 1500s is reproduced below for those interested. Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” by Cicero are also reproduced in their exact original form, accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham.

Contrary to popular belief, Lorem Ipsum is not simply random text. It has roots in a piece of classical Latin literature from 45 BC, making it over 2000 years old. Richard McClintock, a Latin professor at Hampden-Sydney College in Virginia, looked up one of the more obscure Latin words, consectetur, from a Lorem Ipsum passage, and going through the cites of the word in classical literature, discovered the undoubtable source. Lorem Ipsum comes from sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 of “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” (The Extremes of Good and Evil) by Cicero, written in 45 BC. This book is a treatise on the theory of ethics, very popular during the Renaissance. The first line of Lorem Ipsum, “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet..”, comes from a line in section 1.10.32.

The standard chunk of Lorem Ipsum used since the 1500s is reproduced below for those interested. Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” by Cicero are also reproduced in their exact original form, accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham.